Vampirism

Now I’m in Krakow, Poland. Today I visited the Krakow market underground museum. This museum is an archeological escavation of the many layers of trash and poop that have been building up over the original Krakow market square since the “new” city of Krakow was founded in the 11th century, i.e., the middle ages. Each layer is about 2’ deep. This is why the old church looks like they sunk it down in the ground.
Down below, the tour guide pointed out a skeleton with its mouth full of rocks. The guide explained that during the middle ages, Europeans were very afraid of vampires. Europeans believed that if you suspect that someone is a vampire, it would be safer to stuff his mouth with rocks upon his death or else he could come back alive and become a serial killer. Then the guide told me a story about vampires.
We always think of vampires of having dark hair and black eyes. That’s because all the Hollywood films and cartoons depict vampires as having dark hair and black eyes. True vampires were blond with blue eyes. When we think of “vampires”, we usually think about Count Vladimir Dracula, the emperor of Transylvania. But that’s only because a story teller wrote a book about Count Dracula, and the book became the origen of all the dozens of Dracula film. Nobody remembers the hundreds of other vampires that were much more famous in their day than Vladimir Dracula. Dracula is like Oscar Schindler. Here in Krakow, there were many German factory owners who risked death to hide thousands of Jews during the war. Such German or Austrians saved thousands more Jews than Oscar Schindler. But nobody remembers them because Steven Spielberg never made a film about them.

What is Vampirism?

Vampirism is not a curse or voodoo or witchcraft. Vampirism is a sad genetic illness caused by incest or genetic inbreeding. Vampirism was most common during the middle ages because there were no presidents and monarchs were not allowed to marry anybody who was not a member of the royal families.

Why Not?

Ever since the end of the ice age, Europeans have had a myth that “white is beautiful.” That blond blue-eyed people are “super human,” “the master race,” “Herren Volk.” They had the mistaken belief that originally, all Europeans were blue-eyed blonds and that now many Europeans are brown haired with dark eyes only because of foreign invaders such as the Mongols, Muslims, Jews, and other “savages.” Today scientists know that all this Nazi propaganda is just George Bush-it. D.N.A. has proven that all Europeans were all black folk from Africa that turned white during the ice age.
This is why kings and queens insisted that their sons and daughters must marry the blondest, whitest members of the royal families. The whiter, the better; with the bluest eyes.
So after thousands of years of inbreeding, all the royal families of Europe were all cousins, brothers and sisters to each other. It didn’t matter if the princess of Constantinople (Istanbul, Turkey) married the duke of Norway. They were all cousins of the same family and the same race. The results of such inbreeding was a very white degenerate child of royal birth: the vampire.

What Are the Symptoms?

Fatigue; difficulty walking and climbing stairs; in severe cases, inputance. The gums recede away from the teeth causing the teeth to look longer than normal. The upper and lower lips also recede with the gums, thus making it difficult for the sufferer to close his lips. These people were rich aristocrats, so it was the fashion for such an aristocrat to wear a long black cape. The cape along with the snarreling teeth made the vampire look like a bat. Another symptom was an allergy to garlic. Vampires were garlic intolerant. If a vampire was accidently fed with to much geralic, it could kill him or keep him sick in his coffin for days.

Why Did They Sleep in a Coffin?

When I was a teacher in California, I was told to be very careful with albino children. Albino kids are very sensitive to sunlight. They told me that I must never let albino kids play in the sunshine. They must play under a shady tree or some shady area. Always make sure that they wear their sunglasses. Kids with ice blue eyes are very sensitive to sunlight.
Vampires were the product of the so-called “master race.” They were intentionally bred to be as white as possible. White skin is not resistant to sunlight. So even a little sunshine would cause a vampire a nasty sunburn with pain that lasted for several days. Sunlight is also very painful for ice blue eyes. This is why vampires were day sleepers. They had to do all their business at night. Coffins are the only kind of sleep furniture that can offer complete darkness for a day sleeper.

Why Did They Like to Drink Blood?

They didn't. Vampires drank human blood every day; lots of it. But they didn't like it. They drank it only as a horrible freaken medication in the same way that the horrible freaken doctors in the U.S. forced me to take the horrible freaken heldol, antivan, rispirdon and zyprexa for 10 freaken horrible years of freaken drug torture.
U.S. doctors are the most stupid special-ed remedial underachieving idiots in the world. I could get better medical treatment from a witch doctor in Papua New Guinea than from a U.S. doctor. However, the doctors in the middle ages were even worse than U.S. doctors. Doctors in the middle ages believed that illness were caused by for 4 pathogens: 1. Miasmas (bad air.) 2. An imbalance of the humours. 3. Demons. and 4. Infected Jews.
The “humors,” they believed, were body fluids such as blood, phlegm, sweat, tears, urine, vile, etc. They believed that diseases happen when you have too much of one humor and/or not enough of another humor. For example, when President Washington came down with a case of strep throat, (a viral infection) the doctors thought that Washington was suffering from “high blood pressure.” So they attached lots of leeches to his skin to bleed out the excessive “humor.” Washington died of shock, i.e., he bled to death. The strep throat didn't kill him. The quack doctor killed Washington. There was no way of measuring blood pressure. Doctors just guessed at the causes of any illness.
In the case of vampirism, doctors believed that it was caused by low blood pressure. Therefore, the only treatment for vampirism was drinking lots of human blood every night. So every night, the vampires were out at night looking for people who would sell him their blood. These vampires were rich aristocrats who had plenty of money to make poor people sell their blood; especially their prostitutes.

How Could Vampires Turn into Bats?

They didn't and couldn't. During the middle ages there were serial killers as there are today. These serial killers look like Jeofrey Dawmer, Gary Ridgeway, Arther Shawcroft, Kenneth Bianche, etc., i.e. normal. They were church going family man with children. You could never suspect them. Dennis Raider of Witchitah, Kansas, e.g., was a decon of his church; cubscout leader, and family man with children. These serial killers of the middle ages didn't look like vampires. They didn't have long snarling teeth. They didn't sleep in a coffin. And they didn't need to drink human blood every night. Serial killers today are caught because of D.N.A. fingerprints, helicopters, video security cameras, etc. But cops in the middle ages didn't have any of that. Suspects of the middle ages were chosen by how they looked. Does the suspect look like a vampire or not? Dennis Raider could have killed half of the population of Krakow of the middle ages and nobody would suspect him.
Once the cops had found a suspect, the next step was to force out the confession. As the tour guide explained the “legal” definition of “torture.” i.e., what the pope or king considered to be an interrogation method that didn't fit the legal definition of “torture,” (hee hee hee) the tour guide stopped and said, “I see that you are smiling. You’re smiling because you think that these were stupid methods of torture.”
“No,” I said. “I'm smiling because if the cops are discussing which method fits the legal definition of “torture,” then they have no evidence and they’re trying to get a false confession from an innocent person because he looks guilty or looks nervous. I'm smiling because this is how crimes in the United States are solved.” in most cases, the cops don't have any evidence. They just arrest the nearest black or hispanic person that they find and force him to make a false confession.
This is why I live in the Ukraine. This is why I'm now living in Poland. This is why I go live in Moldavia when I exceed my 6 months right to live in the Ukraine. I've been arrested and forced to sign a false confession that I'm an illegal alien from Sweden. The confession said that I could not speak English. But the confession I signed was in English because they couldn't find anybody who could write in Swedish. In 1989 I was strapped to a bed for 7 nights at LAC/USC Medical because I refused to sign a false confession to a murder of a teenage girl.
After the vampire had made his traditional false confession, the next step was to punish him. The usual punishments were execution, floggings, the stocks, or the dungeon. However, vampires were aristocrats or members of the nobility. So, vampires were sent to the tower; usually the tallest tower of the castle or the city gates. However, even though the vampire was always up there in the highest tower, the fresh dead bodies of young girls kept turning up all over the city. How did he do it? How could he kill all those girls and stay up there in that tower with an army of soldiers stationed all below him? The cops never once thought, “Hey, wait a minute. Maybe we got the wrong guy.” “Hey, if the girls keep getting killed, then maybe he didn't kill any of those girls he confessed to killing.” No, cops don't think like that. For a cop, the best evidence is a confession. For the cops, it was obvious that the vampire did it. But how? It was very simple. He turned himself into a bat, flew down the tower, turned himself back into a man, killed the girls, flew back into the tower and turned himself back into a man. It's the perfect aliby. “I couldn't have done it because I can't get out of this tower.” If the cops say that the vampire turned himself into a bat, then the king believes it. If the king believes it, then the pope believes it. If the pope believes it, then you better believe it or you’re a heretic and you’re going to hell.